The only way to break the downward spiral of negativity is to become aware of the negative thoughts, emotions and corresponding reactions as much as possible.
When an emotion is triggered, try to trace that emotion to it’s reactions in your body – these bodily reactions/sensations/impulses could be anything from harsh to subtle. The trick is to use the light of self awareness to completely feel these emotions in your body with an attitude of total acceptance – having an accepting and open attitude is the key to dissolving any chronic negative emotions.
If you find it di
fficult to feel these emotions in your body then try to practice conscious breathing – feel the air entering and escaping your body for a few minutes before slowly and steadily turning your attention towards the body and its subtleties.
Keep an open and yielding mind and quietly accept all emotions of guilt, anger, fear, unease, anxiety and grief etc. as and when they arise – no resistance. Carry this process of “feeling-and-accepting” into your day-to-day life and a time will come when the all encompassing true self will begin to emerge and dwarf the egoic mind – this true self is deep, silent, compassionate and indestructible.
In the words of Eckhart Tolle, “Surrender, one could say, is the inner transition from resistance to acceptance, from “no” to “yes.” When you surrender, your sense of self shifts from being identified with a reaction or mental judgment to being the space around the reaction or judgment. It is a shift from identification with form–the thought or the emotion–to being and recognizing yourself as that which has no form–spacious awareness. Whatever you accept completely will take you to peace.” 1
References
(1) Author: Eckhart Tolle . Stillness Speaks: Whispers of Now, New World Library, August 2003 ISBN 1-57731-400-X . Chapter 6